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James Schneider posted a condolence
Saturday, August 19, 2023
It's been 2 months and 7 days since we lost Courtney. Is anybody else counting the time? Maybe not. It's just around this time 9 weeks ago that she was brought to the hospital that she died in 2 days later. I don't need assistance finding words in expressing my great feelings of loss for her presence as the prompt above suggests. I can find the words. I just don't know how this happened to her. I didn't know the nature nor the extent of her illness. If I did maybe I could have made a difference. All I know is that every day that I used to see her working at the shop in Palmyra I don't anymore and that is terribly painful to me because I loved her.
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James schneider posted a condolence
Friday, August 11, 2023
Tomorrow is August 12th. 8 weeks ago it was a Saturday, June 10th when my dear friend Courtney Starr Monaco called me and asked me to take her to the hospital. I left immediately and went to her house in Willingboro. Her friend and employer Joe had already called Courtney's brother to pick her up and take her to the Voorhees hospital. When I arrived at Courtney's home she was already exiting her mother's house and entering her brother's car. I followed and was waiting in the wings of the emergency room. I met Courtney's brother and sister and he told me the true nature of her affliction. She had a cirrhotic liver. I was totally unaware of the severity of her illness. I had taken her several times to doctors and Courtney told me that she had walking pneumonia. I picked up prescriptions for her and got drinks that I hoped would help her to gain weight. If she had told me how sick she was-the true nature of her illness-I would have moved heaven and earth to save her-if that was even possible. Now every 12th of the month-whatever month it is, whatever day it falls on-whatever year it might be-I'm going to remember the loss of my true love Courtney and try to manage living without her presence. God help all of us who have sustained this loss and have been forever deprived of her radiant presence.
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T J uploaded photo(s)
Wednesday, August 2, 2023
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I miss you Courtney
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Jane Phillips posted a condolence
Thursday, July 27, 2023
We as a family had the pleasure of meeting Courtney at Sweetwater and had an immediate bond with her! My husband, daughters , and grandchildren had a wonderful connection with her so much so that we invited her to our house for family dinner and birthday celebration. I communicated with her via text and we visited with her at the store where she last worked. I tried desperately to get her into a catering position that was available but my communication went unanswered. At this point she was probably not in the best of health. Our hearts just ache for her as she was so sweet and kind. She even did a Christmas exchange with our family that’s just how thoughtful she was! A beautiful life list too soon. We found out after her funeral and we’re truly devastated that we weren’t aware she was in the hospital and had passed. We would have wanted to be there for Courtney to say our final goodbyes. We truly loved her and deeply mourn her.
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James Schneider posted a condolence
Wednesday, July 12, 2023
What would I like? I would like a complete record of the texts that Courtney and I shared together over the last many months. I was a fool. I erased every one of them other than the one I sent to her after she had died. I will never erase that. I don't know why I erased them. Maybe they were too personal but they were never vulgar or immoral. I loved Courtney too much to allow that to happen. I don't know if her family has access to them or if they are gone forever. I don't really know why I erased them. Maybe I felt the impossibity of our relationship-a young woman with an older man. Whatever the case I would like to revisit those conversations. They were-for the most part-wonderful. Two human beings of different backgrounds-different ages-but with something in common-their love for one another.It would ease my grief over losing her if I could hear those expressions of sincere love. I would also like to obtain as many photos as possible of Courtney. I know how this must sound-irrational. But loving someone is not rational. Whatever photos of Courtney I could obtain-whether she was young and vibrant or sickly would be a great gift to me who loved her.
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James Schneider posted a condolence
Wednesday, July 12, 2023
It's now one month since we lost Courtney. I am determined to keep her memory alive. I have many books and bookcases in my small apartment. Right at the top of one of them-in my living room-I have what I have designated Courtney's Place. There's the Mickey Mouse doll that I had given her when she seemed distressed-my copy. There's a bowl of artificial flowers reminding me of the flowers that I gave her the day before Easter. The difference is that these flowers will not die as the bouquet I had given her inevitably did. There are 2 aromatic candles. The last time I took Courtney shopping at Walmart she got a big aromatic candle so I knew she favored these things. There's also a book entitled One Hundred and One Classic Love Poems stationed above the bookcase which I had quoted from months ago when we were texting daily. Finally when I get Courtney's memorial book it will be placed in the center of this tribute-a daily reminder to me of this wonderful person that I had the pleasure of knowing and loving-Courtney Starr Monaco. May she live forever in our minds and our hearts.
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James Schneider posted a condolence
Tuesday, July 11, 2023
I want to fill this book of remembrances of Courtney-however trivial. I don't remember the date. It was a Saturday afternoon after she finished work. It was a miserable day-raining, unpleasant. I took Courtney to the Milanese pizza on broad St. It was one of her favorite restaurants. She was in total control. She ordered a square shaped pizza. I had never had that before. Courtney also got garlic bread. I remember sitting in the place. There was a lot of loud music and peripheral noise from some youngsters sitting in an adjacent booth. I would have preferred the sounds of Sinatra or Dean Martin but was subjected to something else. I'm a musician from a different era so I felt out of place. I felt old and a little embarrassed that I was in the company of a much younger woman. We decided to go outside to escape the noise. Courtney had a cigarette and we spoke about something-I don't remember what. We should have sat at the Gazebo but wound up hanging around my car. Eventually the food was done. I paid the bill and we left. I brought Courtney home and we hugged-which was our custom since the first time we met. Courtney looked quite well that day-vibrant and beautiful with those stunning blue eyes. I went home that day happy despite the inclement weather happy because I had yet another occasion to be with Courtney. I didn't like the garlic bread. The pizza was fine. But the company was extraordinary.
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James Schneider posted a condolence
Tuesday, July 11, 2023
It was Saturday April 8th-the day before Easter. I had bought 2 bouquets of flowers-one for my sister in a nursing home in Pa. (She was 82 and I was 72). The other was for Courtney. When I got home from the visit to my sister I saw Courtney and gave her the flowers. She told me that she had never received flowers from a man before. I found that hard to believe considering her beauty but I accepted that. I was just happy that I could-in some minute way-make her happy that day. We had spoken about sharing my apartment before. Courtney wanted to be on her own-but-in reality she would not have been on her own-she would have been staying with me. I showed her around the apt. I had a lot of musical equipment and cd's, DVD's, bluray's, records and books-and a lot of clothes. It was-and is-conjested. But there was still room that could have been found for her. I wanted her to be with me because I felt that she needed privacy that she did not really enjoy at her home. But-despite the fact that I had grown to love her-I didn't want to compromise her in any way. So I told her that maybe it would have been more appropriate that we get to know one another better before living together-even in the most moral environment possible. I suggested bicycling together, going to museums, going out to the movies or watching them at my fully equipped 10.1 home theater system. What I should have done is to have her stay with me and make the necessary adjustments in my apt to accommodate her presence-an additional room, bed, etc.and not giving a damn about appearances but only considering her health issues That way I could have looked over her, making sure that she was really taking care of herself and-if not-helping her to make the right decisions.It might have worked. If I had not been so much a slave to propriety and appearances Courtney might still be with us. I hate myself for the mistake I made that may not have saved her life-but, at least prolonged it. God forgive me
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James Schneider posted a condolence
Sunday, July 9, 2023
Yet another memory-a very painful one for me. I believe it was a Saturday. Courtney needed some things from Walmart-not necessarily for her-but for her family. I remember her testing out the vegetables-feeling them, handling them-making sure they were acceptable to consume. She also went into the boy's department to get something for her nephew. Courtney loved him and took care of him a lot. I remember putting on a child's fedora and asking her how it looked. (I'm a big fedora fan.) I managed to get a smile out of her despite the fact that she was obviously not feeling her best. After shopping we stopped at a pizza place near her home right off 130. We waited for the pizza to be cooked. She told me about Stromboli which I had never had before and agreed that the next time we went out we would get a Stromboli. I could hardly look at her. She was so frail. Even the owner noticed her fragility. I could see it in his eyes. I felt so useless, so utterly incapable of helping her. I took her home. She gave me part of the pizza and I drove home crying because I couldn't seem to help her. I don't remember the exact sequence of events after that. It was probably the Saturday before she was hospitalized. Sometime during that week or after she was hospitalized I texted Courtney a recording of "On the Isle of Stromboli" an obscure Frank Sinatra ballad from 1949 hoping that the next time we met we would share a Stromboli pizza. After she died I sat at the bottom of the steps at the rear of my apartment building right next to where Courtney worked, drank a bottle of white wine, listened to "On the Isle of Stromboli" over and over again and cried incessantly even as I am crying now remembering that sad day-the saddest day of my life.
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James Schneider posted a condolence
Friday, July 7, 2023
Sometime in late spring Courtney was working on a Monday-unusual for her. She invited me to have a meal with her at Cockadoodle Dan's in Broad St in Palmyra. It was the first time that we shared a meal together. She had a cheese steak (of which she only ate half) and I had French fries. She told me about her previous hospital experiences. She was happy. She looked healthy and lovely. I took her home. We took the long way-River Road and a left at the old building and over the bridge. We were in Delanco. I forget the name of the street we made a left on. All I recall is the address number 222. We paused there for awhile and Courtney told me that that was her original home-that her father had done renovations on the property. It was obvious to me how much she loved her father and how proud of him she was. We continued on and we passed by her old high school. She told me about her experiences there. Courtney told me she had been a substitute "queen" at some school function and I complemented her on her "royal" status. We proceeded through Delanco until we reached 130 and I brought her to her home in Willingboro. That was my first memory of having been with her for an extended period. Prior to that we had texted one another for many weeks. Sometimes we were together online for hours. I quoted poetry to her and sent her songs that I thought she would like. I loved her-Love her-and miss her terribly. I can post other times we met. Sometimes they were very painful to me because her health was deteriorating rapidly. I'm waiting to hear more expressions of people who loved Courtney as I did-and I only knew her for about 6 months. Where are you? I don't want to feel that I'm one of only a few that have expressed their love for her in this memorial to her. This will be the only memorial to a person that we loved. This is our last chance to have this recorded for posterity. She deserves to be remembered and to mourn over her-it is our loss, not hers. We are the ones who are grieving. She is at peace.
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James Schneider posted a condolence
Wednesday, July 5, 2023
I was at the funeral last Thursday. Maybe there were 40 people there. I didn't count. In my mind there should be at least that number of individuals who would give a personal tribute to Courtney in this digital book in remembrance of her. That is the very least we should do to remember her short presence among us and honor her abilities, her qualities and-most importantly-the truly loving person that she was-and still is. I know that many people are reluctant to reveal how they truly feel. But now is not the time to be reticent about expressing our emotions. A young person has died who could have lived a life more than twice the length that she did. It's time to search our hearts and find the words-however brief and simple they might be-and fill up this book with remembrances of her. There should be no empty pages, no empty lines. If we loved her and appreciated her presence amongst us during her short life we will find it in our hearts to do this.
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James Schneider posted a condolence
Saturday, July 1, 2023
I've only known Courtney about 6 months. I live in the apartment building next to where she worked. We would see each other occasionally while I was exiting my place and she was outside taking a break. We started talking and eventually exchanged phone numbers. Eventually we started texting one another. We shared experiences, spoke about our likes and dislikes. We became good friends. Whenever I got a text from her at the beginning of the day it brightened that day for me. We had some pizzas together. I took her shopping a few times and brought her to doctors when it became necessary.
Courtney told me about her love for her family and-in particular-her devotion to her deceased father. She told me that she "prayed" to him. I don't think she meant that in the usual meaning of the word but-rather-that she communicated with him or-at least-sought to.
Now we are faced with the premature loss of a truly lovely human being. How do we deal with that? If we are fortunate enough to have video recordings of her we can watch them and treasure the memories displayed. Even simple audio recordings or photos of Courtney can likewise comfort us. I have a photo of my 2 sons together when they were very young. Every time I open my wallet I see them as they were decades ago. If I had a picture of Courtney it would be positioned in my wallet adjacent to my 2 sons.
I view myself as a "practical" man. But mere practicality has little meaning when confronted with the loss of someone you loved. For that reason most humans believe in an "afterlife"-a state of existence after the death of the physical body. Courtney told me that she had a near death experience herself. So I am not so practical a man as to disbelieve in life after death. The apostle Paul spoke extensively about it in 1st Corinthians 15 and virtually all religions of the world have similar beliefs in different forms.
Courtney's middle name is Starr. I believe that she now is among the stars. She now has a celestial body not subject to human disease and suffering. So even though we are grieving because we will not see her in the flesh anymore we can be happy that she is no longer suffering. Her celestial body cannot be harmed as her physical body was.
Courtney "prayed" to her deceased father. She wanted to communicate with him because she loved him so much. She knew he was alive somewhere. When I pray to God now I also "talk" to Courtney and tell her how much I love her, how much I miss her and how much I long to be among the stars with her.
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Ethan Kramer lit a candle
Thursday, June 29, 2023
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We (me, my parents and my family) met Courtney at Sweetwater and quickly became regulars. Over our numerous visits over the years (haha) we became close. We began to invite Courtney to our family events. Mom would even help Courtney with whatever she needed when she got sick. Courtney became a part of our family. We will dearly miss her.
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Ethan Kramer purchased flowers
Thursday, June 29, 2023
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Ethan Kramer
purchased the Florist's Choice Bouquet and planted a memorial tree for the family of Courtney Monaco.
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You are loved and will be dearly missed, you are like family to us *heart*.
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Ethan Kramer planted a tree in memory of Courtney Monaco
Thursday, June 29, 2023
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You are loved and will be dearly missed, you are like family to us *heart*. Join in honoring their life - plant a memorial tree
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TJ Anonymous uploaded photo(s)
Tuesday, June 27, 2023
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Most did not truly know Courtney, the person, but for those that did, we are suffering a terrible void in our lives. Courtney, you will be in our hearts always. Loved and missed. Forever at peace with your father. God be with you Courtney.
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Greg and Larissa Kramer Posted Jun 29, 2023 at 4:36 PM
We definitely miss Courtney. She was dearly loved by all of our family. Courtney was an unofficial Kramer. Everyone who knew her felt the same way about her. She was one of the most beautiful women I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Our family feels so blessed to have gotten to know her. She was one of the hardest working people I know. She loved her family so much and often spoke so fondly of them and the times with her Mom and Dad. Courtney we miss you more than you will ever know.
A Memorial Tree was planted for Courtney Monaco
Tuesday, June 27, 2023
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We are deeply sorry for your loss ~ the staff at Chadwick Memorial Home Join in honoring their life - plant a memorial tree
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The family of Courtney S. Monaco uploaded a photo
Tuesday, June 27, 2023
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